Tag Archives: overwhelming

Twitter, Kitten, and more!

I don’t write on this blog as much as I’d really like to, but I felt like giving some updates for those interested.

First of all, about a month ago, I made a twitter account, finally. There isn’t much to it, but it’s a start. I’ll try to keep updated with that as much as possible. I’m trying to get a bigger presence social media wise, so it’s a nice first step.

Second! My life has been absolutely overwhelmed by the cutest little menace ever. His name is Beau and we love him: 13327490_10207204974905266_8015567601849003824_n

The decision to adopt the little orange tabby came over a month after our eldest cat Buddy passed away at 19 years old, almost a week after his birthday. His death was very difficult, as it was only the second time I’d ever lost a cat, and he was suffering so much in the final days of his life.

But Beau has breathed new life and laughter into the house and we are so grateful for him, even if he exhausts us! Our cat Lilo is still trying to figure out how she feels about him, two weeks later, but she’s coming around.

Also, a big happy Memorial Day to all of those who have served, and to those who have loved ones in the services, or who may have lost. Thank you, for any and all sacrifices.

I’ll be trying to get a bit better about posting more these days. And actually work on reading more and being part of the conversations. I have a hard time remembering to do it in the first place, but we’ll see how this attempt goes.

I have edited a couple of the pages, the “Where’d you Go?” page and the sort of About Me page “What’s a Novice Wordsmith?” I’ve also added another, that will serve as my page for social media links. Just the Twitter for now, but if I add more, they will go up there!

That should do it for the updates for now! Expect another post from me within the week.

The Novice Wordsmith

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Stubbornness vs. Rightness

In the past couple of months, I’ve been working a full time job at a very busy veterinary hospital. And when I say hospital, I mean it: it’s 24 hours, there’s urgent care staff on ’round the clock, they have an operating room, they book several surgeries a day ranging from simple (spay, neuter) to complex (mass removals, etc), and they have as many as 20 doctors employed.

It had been a job I wanted for years, literally. When I was unemployed, I applied twice, interviewed twice, and was rejected twice. I loved the idea of being up front and helping people, and being able to reach out and be part of the help they were seeking for their pet.

The problem was, despite the fact that they were so intensely, crushingly busy, and I never reacted well to that, I still took it up eagerly. It was a very quick process that left my head spinning, and my first day there was disastrous, but I was determined to stick with it. And so the second day was better, and the third, and I kept learning and getting better at what I was doing until I was turned loose as an independent part of the system.

And it got worse from there.

It is really hard for me to admit that I am absolutely bad at being under pressure in a constant cycle. I can do it when it happens every so often, I’ve found ways to handle it before, but when it springs up unexpectedly and often, it gets to me. It’s hard to handle, and I make more mistakes because I’m just trying to get through things.

I was not going to let that get in the way. I felt like it was just circumstance, and I’d get better. Even though I would come home, feeling the lack of communication with certain close friends and the huge cut in free time I had, considering moving on to a different job, I stuck it through.

Shit, I even pined for the old job I had some days, but I figured I would be fine. No big deal. It was just me having a bad day.

And then I lost the job.

On top of feeling depressed about the outcome, I felt relieved. I kept finding reasons to be okay with it. I mean, I was still flabbergasted at how out of the blue it was, the final day of my probationary period, and I was getting axed because they could do that still, but part of me was glad for it.

And it came to me yesterday, that the job really wasn’t for me. I came home from the interview (which was a simple observation for two hours) feeling the emotional drain and knowing it might be a bit much for me. The first day was nightmarish. I had been considering not saying yes to it in the beginning, but I went with it anyway because it was an opportunity, it was what I wanted.

But you have to realize that sometimes, what you think you want isn’t always going to be what fits you.

I wanted to write this to impart this wisdom on everyone, as it applies to writing and challenging yourself to genres you aren’t used to or characters you don’t do so well with, or really anything, whether it’s someone else’s suggestion for you and your wish to see it out, or your own thinking that you should be able to do something.

It is 100% okay to not be cut out for something, no matter what it is. 

Just that the hard part is convincing yourself of that, if you’re as stubborn as I am.

If something becomes too much, or it isn’t enough, or it’s just overwhelming, you reserve the right to tell it no and move on to something that feels better. Do not worry.

This pertains as much to NaNo as possible, too, considering you may be trying something new out. If it doesn’t work, find something else and jump on. Shift gears. Get comfy somehow else. You’re allowed to. It’s all part of the learning process, isn’t it?

-The Novice Wordsmith